When Selfishness Tries to Thwart God’s Plans

Then Job answered the Lord and said, “I know that You can do all things. And that no purpose of YOURS can be thwarted.” —Job 42:1–2, NASB

Photo by Jerry Zhang

Due to catch an early flight to Nashville, I was feeling tired and grumpy. I was hoping to read a little and then fall asleep while I waited to board the plane.

But wouldn’t you know it? When a frail, elderly woman sat down next to me, I turned away from her, hoping she’d get the hint. But no! She started telling me about her life. Her husband had died and her four children decided they would each take a turn hosting her for three months at a time. She continued to tell me that she and her husband had been on the mission field for thirty years together.

Not a missionary, of all things. Now I had to look interested. Afterall, she had given her life in service to God.

My frustration level was rising. Thankfully, once I boarded the plane I wasn’t seated next to a Chatty Cathy.

When I arrived in Nashville, I had an hour wait before meeting up with my traveling companions.

 I retrieved my luggage and sat down in an oversized, wooden rocking chair, deliberately turning my back to the woman sitting next to me.

Photo by Tommy Bond

I pulled out my book and settled into reading, making it clear (in my mind) that I wanted to be left alone.

Then it happened.

The woman next to me initiated contact.

Oh, no! I don’t want to talk. Please, no! I was being self-centered.

“That’s a pretty suitcase.”

Ugh. Small talk. It’s the worst when you’re introverting and want to be left alone. I wasn’t making myself available to God.

“Thanks. I bought purple so I could identify it quickly.”

Then what always happens to me happened … again.

“You probably don’t care, but my life is falling apart. Can I talk to you about it?”

God was intruding into my neat and tidy little world.

I felt like He was saying, “You’re on assignment for me today.”

Silently, I half-heartedly responded to Him: Oh, no, you’re wrong. I do care. I was a reluctant servant.

(I’m a Christ-follower, for goodness sakes. Love God and love people. It’s in the Bible.)

Photo by Sixteen Miles Out

Her story began with the loss of her mother just a few days earlier. She shared how her mom had been in the hospital, dying of cancer and in a coma, and although they had been estranged for several years, she traveled hundreds of miles to make peace with her.

Their time together in those last hours wasn’t perfect. It seemed impersonal. But she felt a little better after telling her comatose mother that she forgave her for being such a rotten mom. Wow.

Then she flew hundreds of miles more to be with her declining, debilitated grandmother, who had raised her. When she arrived, she found a demented, old woman living in a filthy apartment. In the refrigerator, maggots were crawling all over the food. 

She was devastated, realizing that the one she loved so dearly was living in such an unsafe, unhealthy environment. She knew she had hard decisions to make regarding her grandmother’s care. The stress and anxiety were wearing her out emotionally, she said.

Then there was her daughter. For three long years, they hadn’t spoken. Now sitting here at the airport next to me, she was waiting for her daughter to arrive. This would be the first time they had met to talk to try to reconcile their relationship.

She said she felt overwhelmed and paralyzed.

I listened for 45 minutes, trying to interject truth and encouragement when I could.

I finally asked her if she had a faith. Her answer was short and direct. “No. I used to go to church. But I’m so bad I don’t think God wants to have a thing to do with me.”

Be intentional. Pay attention to what God is doing around you. One question led to another, and I was able to share how much God loves her.

She had one sticking point, and I knew it was coming.

“If God loves people so much, why is there so much suffering in the world?”

Well, God loves the world so much that He was willing to allow His own Son, Jesus, to suffer a cruel death on the cross to pay the penalty for the sins of the whole world.

I could see in her eyes that she was having an “aha” moment.

“Wow. I never thought about it like that before. You’ve given me a lot to think about.”

Then her phone rang.

“Thank you so much for talking with me! It’s all about Jesus, right?”

Then she gave me a hug and a kiss, and off she went.

I didn’t even get her name.

Continuing on,

Ally