Mom Had It Right
When I walked into the room, I could see she was distraught. So distraught, in fact, that she was on the verge of hysteria, her eyes filled with terror. I knew her mind was being cruel to her again and that the images before her eyes appeared real to her. I felt heartbroken knowing I could do nothing to relieve her mental suffering.
Photo by Danie Franco
What a strange feeling to watch your mother suffer and succumb to an illness. I grieved the loss of my mother slowly, over many years. Her decline was subtle at first, but at times much more obvious, sometimes even brutal … the hallucinations, the choking, the falling.
I am my mother’s oldest child and only daughter, and years before I had moved 1,300 miles away. She never said a word, but I know it was hard on her. She corresponded with me frequently by phone and snail mail.
Recently, I came across a card she had sent when her handwriting was getting quite shaky. She scrawled across the bottom of the card,
“Without Christ, we would wither.”
At the time I received this card, I had no idea what God had ordained for my future.
My story begins in January 2013. Over the following few years, I experienced several surgeries, procedures, and treatments, all related to the chronic nerve pain that continues as my daily companion. As my friends have watched me manage and navigate life with unrelenting pain, I am often asked, “How do you do it?”
On any given day my answer to that question may vary. If I focus on the following three anchors of my faith, I tend to respond to pain or any other challenging circumstance in a God-honoring way.
Three Faith Anchors:
I believe in the sovereignty of God.
I believe God loves me.
I believe God is good.
God is sovereign.
God has absolute rule, authority, and control over all things, including my health.
“But as for me, how good it is to be near God! I have made the Sovereign Lord my shelter …” —Psalm 73:28
God loves me.
You can trust God to the degree that you believe that He loves you.
“But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.” —Romans 5:8
“We know how much God loves us and we have put our trust in his love.” —1 John 4:16
God is good.
You can trust God to the degree that you believe He is good and has your best interests in mind.
“How kind the Lord is! How good he is! So merciful, this God of ours.” —Psalm 115:5
“Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life.” —Psalm 23:6
It was mom’s relationship with Jesus that sustained her during some hard years as she processed her illness and what it meant for her future. I now know experientially what mom knew, as well as what Simon Peter verbalized in John 6:68–69:
“Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words that give eternal life. We believe, and we know you are the Holy One of God.”
I was alone with mom when she passed away peacefully from complications related to Parkinson’s disease. It gave me great comfort to know that, the moment she passed from this life into the presence of God, her frail and broken body was made whole and healthy.
Mom was right. Without Christ I would wither in my circumstances.